Delayed Reactions

     I must live the epitome of the delayed reaction.  Sometimes I don't realize until years later what really happened or how it effected me...or even that it effected me.   I go through the entire cycle of a relationship, for instance, only to understand a year after it has ended how I truly felt about the other person.  The dissociative state I have lived in all my life, which waxes and wanes in intensity, prevents me from accurate real time perception.  I told a therapist once that I feel like I have a layer of glass just under my skin...and I think I meant that I can be hurt in the moment....sensitive as hell...but the real damage is only reflected through the glass underneath much later, from a safe distance.